Have you noticed how in some conversations when two or more people are talking that some aren’t actually listening? It’s like watching a TV game show where the fastest hand (or tongue) on the buzzer wins and gets to go first. This is evidence of a lack of listening for understanding when someone controls a conversation, trying so hard to convince others that their position is the right one. Some insist their answer is the right and they know what’s best. Why listen? Why talk, right?
Letting go of a need to be right and genuine listening takes focus, concentration and is definitely work. The purpose of dialogue reminds us that listening for understanding is an exchange of ideas whose purpose is obtaining insights unavailable in the beginning. Being fully present is autumn listening; we learn to trust, let go of agendas and our attachments to them. When I do, l appreciate why someone supports or opposes an idea or position. I begin listening for commitment; my own and the other person’s perspective taking and meaning making.
When speaking, I try to remind myself to listen from the heart space without expecting to convince or dominate a conversation. Sitting with what’s uncomfortable and detaching from an outcome invites possibilities to arise from the quantum field and a willingness to explore new opportunities. As an executive coach who works with leaders, I’m demonstrating a readiness to take in what’s ready to emerge from a space of mutual and emergent wisdom. It’s edgy enquiry considering ideas from the fringe of not knowing, what’s messy and possible chaos. Honouring my voice and the voices of others, I lose attachment to ritualistic rule-bound thinking and pre-determined outcomes.
Jim is an Integral Master Coach(TM) PCC and Certified Master Trainer(TM) of SQ and Quantum Leadership working with executive and leadership clients in Helsinki, Finland. If you’re curious about exploring quantum possibilities can offer your business, send him a note at firstname.lastname@example.org or call +358 40 178 1030.